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Poll | | Which room is the hardest to keep organized? | Bathroom | | 0% | [ 0 ] | Bedroom | | 0% | [ 0 ] | Child's bedroom | | 33% | [ 2 ] | Family room | | 0% | [ 0 ] | Home office | | 17% | [ 1 ] | Kitchen | | 50% | [ 3 ] | Living room | | 0% | [ 0 ] |
| Total Votes : 6 |
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Most users ever online was 553 on Sun 22 Jan 2012, 8:29 pm
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Statistics | We have 4566 registered users The newest registered user is carney70
Our users have posted a total of 185706 messages in 70088 subjects
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| Author | Message |
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jolissa
Number of posts : 608 Location : LA LA LAND Job/Hobbies : LOOKING FOR A GOOD LAUGH Humor : Allow me to introduce my selves Registration date : 2008-09-04
My Mood Mood: :
| Subject: A redneck oil change Wed 22 Oct 2008, 8:06 am | |
| A redneck oil change The Redneck Oil Change Checklist
1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for $50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree.
2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
12. Clean up.
13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
14. Look for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist it off.
16. Beer.
17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.
23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.
27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
29. Begin cussing fit.
30. Throw wrench.
31. Cuss and complain.
32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
33. Beer.
34. Beer.
35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
36. Beer.
37. Lower car from jack stands
38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 23.
40. Test drive car
41. Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the influence.
42. Car gets impounded.
43. Make bail; get car from impound yard.
Money Spent:
$50 parts
$12 beer
$75 replacement set of jack stands; hey the colors have to match!
$1000 Bail
$200 Impound and towing fee
Total: $1337 |
| | | lilypad Administrator
Chinese zodiac : Number of posts : 30089 Birthday : 1964-08-03 Age : 60 Location : Job/Hobbies : Freebies Humor : Smile, we love ya! Registration date : 2008-01-23
My Mood Mood: Hot : Thanks everyone for being you!
| Subject: Re: A redneck oil change Wed 22 Oct 2008, 4:14 pm | |
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| | | *chocolatelove*
Number of posts : 304 Registration date : 2009-01-14
My Mood Mood: Mellow :
| Subject: Re: A redneck oil change Sun 18 Jan 2009, 3:27 pm | |
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| | | kewlchick2003
Number of posts : 6464 Location : Illinois Job/Hobbies : Special Education Teacher, Respite Care Work, Disability Advocate, Scrapbooker, Coffee Lover, Cats Registration date : 2008-11-08
My Mood Mood: Sleepy :
| Subject: Re: A redneck oil change Wed 21 Jan 2009, 9:11 pm | |
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| Subject: Re: A redneck oil change | |
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